What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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