Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops