Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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hi

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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