what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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sky silverstein

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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