What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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. . I am a whale

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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