What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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a

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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