How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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