What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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. . I am a whale

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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