how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Read a Book.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock, knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Indians

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops