Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

My cat just died.

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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