What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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