Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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My cat just died.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops