Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

What is funnier then 25 9/11

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

Chuck Norris.

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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