Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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