What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops