Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

i'm an inbred jew - Barras

What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

hi penis ham telephone

How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

Small Penis.

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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