What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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12 in general

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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