all your base are belong to mark

thumb_up thumb_down +34

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

thumb_up thumb_down +32

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops