whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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