i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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womans rights...

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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