Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

thumb_up thumb_down -17

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops