jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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