Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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