What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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A blonde dies Lololol

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Neither have I

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops