I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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