I'm so punny.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops