To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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