What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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