There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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