How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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school homewrok

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops