What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops