I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Latvia isn't a joke

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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This Anti-Joke is funny. haha.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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