How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

What's 1+1? 69.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

What did Reed read? A. Read?

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

this website is a bad joke

the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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