Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

A house comes around the corner.

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

I have an idea! You leave.

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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