What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops