What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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