You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...