When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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