Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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