A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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the lemon was sweet.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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