At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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