once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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