A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

A fish swims up your penis...

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

I'm going to rewrite history. History.

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

womans having rights.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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