Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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25

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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