Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops