What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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