- Anti Joke

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.