My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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drugs.

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I Have a Black Friend

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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