Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

thumb_up thumb_down

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down

I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

thumb_up thumb_down

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

thumb_up thumb_down

So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

thumb_up thumb_down

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red, violets are blue, penis

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops