TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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it was all Tagart

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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