What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Chuck Norris.

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

Pickles

Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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