Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops