What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops