I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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