What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops