Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Cripples are lame.

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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