what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops