What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

What's stupid a light bulb.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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