Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

9/11 my birthday

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

What's funny? Women's rights.

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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