What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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your mom.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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