A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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