A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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My jeans

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops