Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops