A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

Knock knock Fuck off!

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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